Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

My name is Chuck and I’m in second grade. I have been good, you can ask my Mom, but don’t ask my Dad cause he’s still mad about his tool set. Even though he’s mad and it’s Christmas and you’re not supposed to be mad right now could you please bring him a new tool set? Please? It would make things better for me.

I sent you a letter already and I hope you got it. I’m trying to not be selfish but I really want the new gaming system. It’s so awesome. But I’m not writing you about that. In Sunday School we talked about our church and all the things we need to do and that we should give money to Jesus and stuff like that. Did you know that in Bible School we took up pennies and stuff and got $4,000.00 for kids in Haiti? Do you stop in Haiti too? Make sure those kids get something good. It’s really gross over there.

I want to ask you to bring stuff to our church too. Here’s my list:

1. Bring the preachers some hats. Some of them don’t have hair and I think their heads get cold.
2. Bring Miss Jill some more people. She’s always asking for more people to help her. I think you can leave them in the preschool area. She’ll find them.
3. Bring Mr. Michael medicine. He talks about medicine all the time. I think he means for people in other places like Haiti but I don’t know. Bring him some medicine just to make sure.
4. Bring us some tithes. I’m not sure what that is but Dr. Self sent us a letter about needing tithes for a storehouse. I didn’t know we had a storehouse. I want to see it but I don’t know where it is. Might be up behind where the choir sits. It goes way up outside.
5. Could you bring some new crayons for my Sunday School class please. The ones we got are kinda old and one kid ate two and we use them a lot. A big box would be great. All the different colors please.

Our church has been good this year so please bring this stuff to us. You won’t get any milk or cookies cause its closed on Christmas so don’t get upset. I’ll leave out a bunch for you at my house.

Thanks Santa
Chuck

Main Street Will Never Be the Same

I know very little about Buddhism or Hinduism; Taoism is a puzzle; but, I’ve seen a real, live Druid in England. I’ve spent years studying Islam and as a result, or possibly a penalty, I have an extensive understanding of that religion. I’ve been a Christian for over forty years and for the most part, I know the basics of my own faith. And, I’ve visited Chattanooga several times; which will make the remainder of this article make sense (hopefully).

In a recent article in the Chattanooga Times/Free Press, Perla Trevizo wrote about the diverse religious landscape of that region. I found the article online and when I saw the words Chattanooga and religious diversity in the same sentence, I was hooked. To say that Chattanooga isn’t New York is a grand understatement; which is a virtue, rather than a criticism, in my estimation. One New York is plenty. Chattanooga is still quaint and the views can be spectacular. Chattanooga is also home to many Buddhists, Hindus and Muslims. In fact, the Muslim population has doubled over the past decade. There are four mosques in the Chattanooga area. If that had been a Jeopardy question most of us would have heard the buzzer: I’m sorry Michael, you were incorrect on Mosques in Chattanooga, Tennessee for $500.00! Hey, didn’t you write a book on Islam? Thanks a lot Alex.

A local university professor stated that the growing diversity shouldn’t surprise people in Chattanooga: People are simply doing what our ancestors did. They bring their own religion with them. The takeaway is that Chattanooga is part of the Old South and has seen less change over a longer period of time than Atlanta or Birmingham. Today Chattanooga is dealing with what it means to live in a pluralistic, diverse area with people of many unique religions. Apparently they are making the necessary adjustments. The pluralism and diversity will continue to grow and there’s no going back. Buddhism and Islam on Main Street are here to stay.

Christianity’s response is a key to the ever-changing climate of a place like Chattanooga. Jesus taught us to be firm in our beliefs, to live out and example our beliefs and to be open to sharing our faith with other people. The Jesus model would expect us to be open to conversation with people of other faiths. Shunning them or ignoring them out of fear is not a Biblical option (this is the point when faith becomes hard). If it’s true that a Christian is the closest thing to Jesus that some people will ever experience…the pressure is on. I try to adhere to the words of A. Christian Van Gorder: “The central theological message for Christians interacting with Muslims (or other religions) is not that ‘our God’ is true and ‘your God’ is not, but the biblical revelation that ‘God is love’ and is actively seeking humanity to participate in a new covenant with God.”

This isn’t a contest for Christians, it’s an opportunity; an opportunity we mustn’t let slip away.

Michael McCullar

A Chicken in Every Pot

Political seasons come and go but one thing remains the same: Promises are easy to make but difficult to fulfill. In college I took a political science class in which we discussed the history of the political promise. Remember the famous promise, I’ll make sure there’s a chicken in every pot? Was that promise trumped with, I’ll make sure you have two pots? Is it possible to out-promise someone? I ran unsuccessfully for Student Council in junior high and now I know why I lost. I should have campaigned on the promise: I will end all F’s and severely curtail D’s, rather than my platform to rid our school of soggy English peas.

It’s hard to blame those who run for office for offering ideas and promises that will be difficult to achieve. To be elected one has to be voted for. It’s hard to enact a political promise from the barstool of the local diner; one needs to be seated in the actual political chamber to act on promises. Maybe the answer to the promise dilemma is a return to the Pinkey Promise. I promise to enact this promise when I’m elected to this auspicious position. But Candidate A, do you Pinkey Promise?

All of us could improve our product with a deeper respect for the spoken promise. Scripture teaches both truthfulness and the duty of placing the needs of others before our own. To fulfill a promise is a selfless act. It’s also an act of honor. A promise fulfilled honors God and the recipient of the promise. The reverse is also true. An unfilled promise is a negative reflection on God and on the Christian who made the promise. God becomes collateral damage in this scenario. It’s hard enough to live life without making God look badly by accident or through temporary mental lapse; no need to compound the level of difficulty with an intentional untruth. And, there’s no color scheme in place pertaining to the truth. There are no grey areas and there are no white lies. As they say, a promise is a promise…especially if it’s a Pinkey Promise!

Michael McCullar

Instant Replay

I have to admit I’m a fan of instant replay in sports. Tennis has always been a sport involving judicial error but since they’ve gone to instant replay for line calls there are virtually no missed calls any longer. John McEnroe was simply born twenty years too soon. It’s hard to argue with the giant JumboTron showing slow motion replays. Football has also been a sport where officiating errors could change the course of a game. Now? The infamous booth will review just about anything short of the popcorn guy short-changing a fan. Fumble? Well Chet, let’s look at the 247 camera angles we have on this play and we will slow it down and see if Number 34 fumbled before the far left quadrant of his shinbone touched the grass.

Two major sports continue to spurn instant replay: basketball and baseball. Basketball is a super-fast sport played on a relatively short and compact court. Add in the size and athleticism of the players and it’s a wonder any of the calls are correct (one never is any longer; traveling or walking with the ball is a joke in modern basketball. My grandmother could get the ball up the court with the license they have with dribbling and taking steps). Baseball on the other hand is quite slow and is played on a giant field with several umpires. Do they miss calls? Yes, they do. As a Tigers fan I’m still not over the perfect game that was taken away earlier in the year…and yes, my grandmother could’ve made the correct call as it wasn’t even a close play. Baseball needs instant replay. For crying out loud it’s the 21st Century!

Ever wondered what life would be like if we each had our own instant replay official and we could go back and take a second look at decisions and actions? Hmmm. I wonder if that was a mistake? Let’s go to the booth for a second look. It would indeed be wonderful to live a life of fewer poor choices and mistakes, but in the end we would not benefit from daily instant replays. Like them or not, mistakes are teachable episodes that provide gist for character development. If the onus was removed from mistakes and bad judgment calls we would never have to strive to become better persons; life would be a series of do-overs. Plus, what would the Holy Spirit do in our lives? Instant replay would remove the need for an indwelling God in our hearts and lives.

So, in this age of instantaneous replay I vote no for daily life and yes for baseball and basketball. And maybe for chess. Chet, let’s go to the booth for a replay on that last move by Vladimir Checkov. It took him so long to make the move that his opponent is fast asleep. Let’s wake him up and show him the move!

Michael McCullar

The Church of the Immaculate Dysfunction: "To Burn or Not to Burn?"

Reginald Beaufort opened the monthly meeting of the Church Oversight of Ministry Impact Committee (C.O.M.I.C.) with his usual aplomb. Reginald Beaufort’s history in the church founded by his great-great grandmother was well known by everyone who wasn’t suffering from severe tinnitus or profound deafness. Fellow Brothers & Sisters of faith in the Omnipotent, Omniscient & Inerrant Father God, welcome to this historic meeting. Reginald loved large words and imbued a measure of historical importance to each and every meeting. After an extensive reading of the prior meeting’s minutes and the requisite vote he called on his aunt Regina B. V. Cocoletti (she went off the reservation by marrying an Italian exchange student who, sadly, disappeared mysteriously soon after the wedding. Gossip emanating from the Ladies of Lydia Sunday School class suggests he left with a troupe of Roma Gypsies that had camped outside of town that summer). Regina went on to marry a successful taxidermist who, sadly, died in a freak taxidermy accident (everyone thought the bear was dead). His name was Venison, hence the V, but Regina felt that Venison reminded her of deer and deer reminded her of taxidermy, and taxidermy reminded her of…so she shifted back to Cocoletti and placed the V before the C, which reminded her of her favorite rule of spelling.

Regina B. V. Cocoletti read the one item of business : Any ideas for the annual festival? Alice Roberts raised her hand and was acknowledged: I propose we burn that Muslim book and invite the whole town to take part. Alice was a dedicated viewer of cable news shows, especially the Christian news shows on the Jehovah Channel. She especially liked the show with the husband and wife preachers (actually he styled himself as a prophet and his wife as a prophetess), and despite her gnawing feeling that it cost large amounts of money to buy that much make-up and hair spray, she nonetheless sent them a check for $99.00 every month. In return for her consistency she had received a rock from the Holy Land that Jesus might have trod upon, and a prayer rag that was guaranteed to wipe away the deepest stain from a guilty conscience or a cotton shirt. It was the preacher/prophet that gave her the inspiration for the book burning. Regina spoke up first; Do you think that would teach those heathens a lesson? I do, replied Alice. My pastor, well I mean my T.V. pastor, said that the only way to fight the hell fire of Mohammadism is with fire! Alice stood up and shouted, To Hell Fire I Condemn the Koran, Book of the Devil! Unable to stop herself Regina leapt up as well. When she saw that none of the others had moved she sat down in a fluid hurry. Recovering from her unbridled move of vertical support she asked, do we even have a Koran to burn?

The Reverend Martin Barclay, Senior Pastor and sometimes zookeeper of exotic Christians stood to his feet and walked to the front of the room. He addressed the group: With all due respect and love, this idea is up there with some of the worst ideas in the history of time. Alice, your television prophet is a nut who plays off the fears and intrinsic bigotry of people to make money. Does he have a book out on this topic? Alice said, Uh, yes, it’s called Burn Baby Burn: Islam No, Jesus Yes. Reverend Barclay followed up, Alice, how much does he charge for the book? Alice answered, $39.95, but you get a free brick from the church he is building in Palestine. Reverend Barclay decided to reclaim his church and his sanity with a strong stand:

We will not burn a Qur’an for any reason. We will not be swayed by cable television talking heads that pervert the Gospel to make money or to run for public office. Lives are at stake. It’s true that Islam is greatly different from our faith. It’s also true that minority portions of Islam are violent and, that the violence will likely continue. We cannot, however, aid and abet that violence with intentional provocation. The Qur’an may not be holy to us but it is to Muslims. What did Paul teach about meat sacrificed to idols? To make this even easier let’s ask what would Jesus do? Fight fire with fire? No. Fighting fire with fire will ultimately lead to a much bigger fire. Our world does not need another bonfire fueled by hate. We must fight fire with love built on the example of Jesus. This is our only option as people of Jesus.

Alice contritely said I’m sorry pastor. I was wrong. I think I will sell the cable television preacher’s book on EBay and give the money to missions. Regina shouted, How about we burn the t.v. preacher’s book instead? That’ll show him! Pastor Barclay shook his head and thought to himself, and to think I could have been a lawyer.

Michael McCullar

I Know What You're Against, But What Are You For?

For the sake of research I recently viewed or read dozens of media outlets to determine how they treated religion and people of various faith backgrounds. Obviously the majority were focused on the Ground Zero Mosque issues, which has gone from virtually everyone being in favor of to a grand free-for-all incited by arch-conservative bloggers. Lost in the fray is the reality that the Muslims have been in business on that site for two years. Some sites focused on the intra-Muslim violence that is escalating to historic levels in Iraq, Afghanistan and Africa. Muslims have been in a quasi-civil war since soon after the unexpected death of Muhammad. If you’re into math that’s approximately 700 years of in-fighting over which group is truly Muslim. One satirist site offered a video interview of various members of the Arkansas Baptist Church famous for picketing the funerals of soldiers. Their beef isn’t the war in Iraq, it’s homosexuality in America. Go figure.

Needless to say, faith in general was not looking good after my research. It was hard to find a positive story on the web, even on sites dedicated to religion and faith groups. I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Do you know of a major religious group that isn’t fractured, in major flux, about to divide or already divorced? Even Hinduism and Buddhism are splintering! This has to be a sure sign of the apocalypse; or possibly a wake-up call for us, the people of Christianity, to make some positive strides. It’s time for people to know what we are for, not what we are against. If educated, thinking and evaluative Americans hear what Christians are against ad infinitum, but never hear what we are for…our marginalization will continue.

Islam isn’t going away. Whether the mosque/community center is built near Ground Zero or not is not going to effect the growth of Islam here or abroad. America is pluralistic by Constitution and as such won’t have a primary religion promoted by the government. This shouldn’t be a surprise as we broke away from England to get out from under a government sponsored church. The equality movement is growing and like it or not America will be more, not less, inclusive, of people groups. We are also a nation of immigrants and if we closed all borders tomorrow we would nevertheless remain a giant melting pot of peoples. Yell, scream, picket, stew, rant…won’t change any of the above, except for the worse.
What would Jesus do at a time like this? I’m guessing He would be extending a hand of grace and peace to all. From reading the New Testament I surmise he would opt to speak for people and not against them. We would definitely know what He was for, and only in a secondary manner would we know what He was against. Imagine that, people of faith being known more for what they are for than what they are against. This shift alone could change the world as we know it. Oh yeah, and Jesus would do that too…He’d change the world. All in all, Jesus continues to be our best option.

Michael McCullar

The Dude Lives Like Jesus

Dr. C. Louis Perrinjaquet, Doc PJ to his friends, lives in Breckenridge, Colorado and for a few months each year he practices family and sports medicine among the ski-season crowd. I can tell what you’re thinking at this moment: this guy’s a ski bum part-time physician who’s living the high life in a Rocky Mountain paradise. I thought the same thing while reading an article about him in Trail Runner magazine. Actually my exact thoughts after one full paragraph were more like, nut-case-ski-bum-part-time-physician. He’s a genuine piece of eco-work, but not for the reasons you might imagine. Doc PJ doesn’t use heat in his home, takes cold showers to conserve energy, buys giant bags of rice and beans to cut down on packaging, teaches transcendental meditation in his living room and breathes exclusively through his nose. I was with him right up to the point of breathing exclusively through his nose. That must be a TM thing; or possibly something to do with cold showers and not using heat during Colorado winters.

Doc PJ is also an avid trail runner, but again, not for the usual reasons. He trains six days per week to prepare for long stints as a jungle doctor. He treks to Darfur, Honduras, Cameroon, and Haiti to do relief medical work; often traveling on foot carrying a 50-pound pack filled with medical supplies. He has pulled rotted teeth from the mouths of Pygmies and cleaned gunshot wounds in raging war zones. He invests $5,000.00 and treats 5,000 people. By the end of the second paragraph I’m ready to canonize the guy and then I read these lines: “In 1991, PJ was working in Vanatu in the South Pacific, when he saw a diabetic man with no shoes. PJ gave him the shoes off his own feet. And to fill the void, he made a pair of sandals out of tire rubber.” This guy is the MacGyver of international medical relief doctors! He’s my newest hero.

I’d love to report that Doc PJ is a committed Christian who is living out his calling in Christ. Sadly, nothing in the article suggests that faith plays a part in Dr. Perrinjaquet’s unusual life. His life’s motto is placed at the bottom of his e-mails: Life is Bliss! Christian or not, you have to love this guy’s attitude and his passion for making the world a better place. Our world needs more people who live to serve others. Doc PJ may not realize it, but his life’s work is intensely Biblical in its application. Think, Mother Teresa in a pair of handmade sandals made of worn out automobile tires. This is the kind of life Jesus died to provide for us: others first, meeting the needs of the oppressed, orphaned, and sick, and being the living embodiment of Christ. Christian or not, the dude’s a role model for us.

Michael McCullar

An Islamic Bonfire?

A church in Florida is planning a Qur’an burning. I can’t remember the last time I went to an old fashioned burning of any type. As a kid I read about Christians burning Beatles music after John Lennon stated that people placed the Beatles above Jesus. Rather than participating I wanted to sneak in and save as many of the records as possible. My allowance was a pittance and purchasing 45’s wiped me out every two weeks. I’ve always been a big fan of marshmallow roasting and weenie-roasts but a Qur’an burning? Why in the world would a group of Florida Christians hold a bonfire for Muslim holy books? Apparently because their pastor told them to do so. He is a believer than Islam is a religion of Satan and as such the Qur’an should be burned.

I believe this pastor (our kind can be a looney lot) is going about this in the wrong way. If he asked me, which he won’t, I would suggest he read, rather than set fire to, the Qur’an. Then I would suggest that he reread the New Testament, especially the parts about Jesus, and reassess his strategies. If he did this he might come away with a different plan of action for dealing with Islam. It is true that Islam is patently non-Christian. Islam sees Jesus as the second greatest prophet and an all around talented guy; but not God Incarnate. Islam is a religion of works and must-do’s, and Allah is capricious and far away. Islam is both a religion of peace and violence due to the Qur’an being written in a longest to shortest chapter form and utilizing abrogation at its core. The Qur’an is a list of revelations received by Muhammad over many years. These revelations were progressive and whenever a later revelation conflicted with an earlier one, the initial writing was abrogated in favor of the latest. The confusing part is determining the verses that have been abrogated. None of the abrogated verses were removed; so many conflicting revelations are included. This is the reason why Islam can be simultaneously hailed as being both peaceful and violence-prone.

O.K., so Islam is confusing, can be violent with sanction and doesn’t see Jesus as God. Color me a heretic and don’t sign me up. I am a follower of Jesus and I reject the Qur’an as being my holy book, but never in a million years would I take part in a Qur’an burning. If Christians want to engage in a witness to Muslims they must first make sure they are doing so in a Christian manner. Simply rereading the life and teachings of Jesus will provide a plan for both witness and dialogue. Nowhere in the New Testament does it teach to demean and do harm to another religion; yet Christians have used Scripture as justification for the Crusades and for burning people at the stake. Where exactly is that verse in Matthew? This Florida pastor should stop seeking publicity and reread his Bible. If he did he would save the matches, the O-Zone and, if it’s not too late, his standing as a witness of Jesus Christ. Burn one Qur’an and your witness goes up in flames as well.

Michael McCullar

Lightning Strikes Jesus!

There are many scary and alarming things happening around the world. Daily life continues to get worse in Haiti. The oil spill is now well beyond a spill; dropping a glass of milk is a spill; this is an out of control underwater volcano of crude oil. The Gaza situation is a nightmare with no lasting answers in sight. The economy continues to resemble a theme park roller-coaster ride. Could things get worse? What’s next? Well, Jesus was struck by lightning.

A church in Ohio erected a six-story statue of Jesus alongside a major freeway. During a thunderstorm a bolt of lightning struck the statue and brought it down. The statue broke in several places, caught fire and in the end, fell to the ground. I bet the fire department had fun with that call: All units. We have a code seventeen at this address. Lightning strike and now a six-story unit is on fire. Hold all units. Jesus is on fire. Negative on the unit. It’s confirmed. Jesus is on fire.

The church was also likely flummoxed at this unique turn of events. That statue was their claim to fame. It was their landmark. They probably never imagined it would also function as a lightning rod. So what’s worse on the global scale? Haiti? An oily Gulf Coast? The Humpty-Dumptyization of Jesus’ statue? I’m going with the fragile environment, the eco-systems of the Gulf and the actual people of Haiti. People will disagree with me on this and that’s fine. Pat Robertson is likely already on sight filming a show where he blames Satan for this blatant attack on Jesus. Someone else will lay the blame on homosexuals; others will cite illegal immigration and the lack of Ten Commandments displays across Ohio. People in general feel the need to fix blame in order to make sense of it all. This happens after every natural disaster. Humans need a concrete handle on abstract events.
So what would Jesus say about this? What would Jesus cite as being the worst event? For my money it would be anything other than the statue crashing and burning. The Biblical Jesus would be grieving over the loss of Creation and for the suffering children of Haiti. That Jesus would also be the first to say that storms are part of Creation’s work and storms bring destruction. Lightning is as much a part of life as oxygen; and both were products of God’s earliest work. Would Jesus be upset over the statue’s demise? Who knows? The better question is this: What does today’s world need more: A six-story statue of Jesus or for the followers of Jesus to live elevated lives? That question shouldn’t be hard to answer, even on a stormy day.

Michael McCullar

"Awful" Is Relative

Being involved in relief and missions work in Haiti is both a good and a bad thing. Haiti is the kind of place that elicits travel warnings from countries like ours. Even before the earthquake people were warned about traveling there for a variety of reasons. The H.I.V. rate in Haiti is very high, as is the child mortality rate. Clean water is scarce and jobs even more so. Haiti is a place best described as simply awful. To drive through Port-Au-Prince is to be heartbroken as one sees humanity at its worst subsistence levels. It only takes one orphaned, homeless child living in a hole left by collapsed rubble to make you cry.

On the other hand Haiti is a great place to practice Christianity. Baptist churches are quite prominent in Haiti and Baptists have been at the forefront of relief work in the stricken areas. I have to say that working and living amongst Haitians was an exhilarating experience. To have the privilege of providing medicines and basic life supplies to people who might otherwise die is one of life’s few holy ground moments. To share this experience with fellow church members was also special, as was being able to tell those being helped that a church in the U.S. cares deeply for you. Sadly, however, we left Haiti only microscopically better than we found it. In reality Haiti remains a truly awful place. The majority of Americans would have trouble assimilating the realities faced by Haitians in simply trying to stay alive from one day to the next. It’s such a foreign concept to us that it might as well be an episode of the Twilight Zone. One has to see it to adequately believe it.

Haiti isn’t alone as being an awful place. Right now the Gulf Coast of the United States is an awful place. Crude oil being pumped directly into the ocean is causing long lasting damage to the already fragile eco-systems and shorelines. It may take decades to undo all of the damage being done, not to mention the price tag that will total in the billions of dollars (which will be passed down to consumers as no corporate jets will be lost due to the unfortunate oil spill). There are plenty of other awful places as well; Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Egypt, India, North Korea, Singapore, Chile…and the list could go on. Awful is relative and no one place or people group has cornered that market.

So, how should we deal with this awfulness? As Christians we cannot act as if it doesn’t exist; nor can we lay it off on the people who are suffering. Pat Robertson’s verbalized stupidity that Haiti made a pact with the devil and as a result received a well-deserved earthquake is beyond the pale. There is voodoo in Haiti. I’ve heard the drums and the chants. I have also seen people praising God and going without food in order to take care of an orphan. Jesus never laid blame on those who were suffering. Awful was the reason Jesus spent so much time with the sick and afflicted. Blame, no. Action, yes. Action is the only weapon Christians have against awful. Pray, give and go are three words that Christians in the United States should take to heart. Everyone can pray; many can give to support life-saving work and ministries already in place in most of the world’s truly awful areas; others can take the time and expense to go and help out in person.

Awful is a relative term that doesn’t have to define large chunks of our world. If we all do our part awful could become obsolete. Then we could move to better, and beyond. I’m convinced this is what Jesus would do.

Michael McCullar

What's A Week Worth?

What’s a week worth to you? A week is seven days made up of 168 hours or, if you like math, 10,080 minutes. There are typically 52 weeks in one year and the average person lives 74 years. Again, for the math-inclined, that would be 3,848 weeks. That’s a lot of weeks when you place it into the perspective of a full life. Have you ever stopped to consider what one week out of that huge total would be worth…to someone else? One week given to the cause of missions wouldn’t make a dent in most schedules. It would be one line of ink across the Month-At-A-Glance calendar; a key stroke on the Blackberry or I-Phone; a voicemail message stating “I’m away saving lives. I’m sorry I cannot speak with you but I’m sure you’ll understand that phone service in the nether regions of the world is spotty at best. When I get back to the not-so-real-world I will return your call. Until then, why not consider giving up one of your almost 4,000 weeks and go to a different place and make a difference.”

Many people feel the pull of missions but sadly, few take the really big step and set foot on different dirt. Those that do are life-changers. They leave home with the goal of changing someone else’s life; they return with their own lives having been radically realigned. It happens every time. You change. You become a different person. Life is different. You morph into a new mode. Deep inside each of us there’s a place where the heart, mind and soul connect. It is at that spot that you know you’ve made a difference. You have altered the course of life.

When does it happen? There’s a magic moment for each person when all perspective shifts and you simply know you’ve changed. It may be in the process of giving someone food; or laying block for a school; or digging a well; or teaching someone about Christ; or when someone touches you and says thank you. In that moment you look down and see Holy Ground.

You will never feel more alive. You’ll ask yourself why you waited so long to take the big step. After all, it’s only one week.

Michael McCullar

They Found Noah's Ark

I recently read (with some amusement) that a team of Turkish and Chinese evangelical explorers found the original Noah’s Ark on Mount Ararat in Turkey. I will admit to being skeptical about things like this, especially since this find was made by evangelical explorers, whatever that means and not actual archeologists. I will also admit to not keeping up with the archeological world; I just don’t dig it (sorry, couldn’t resist), but even a clueless person like me remembers hearing this refrain many times before. Hold the phone says the Chinese leader of the Evangelical Explorers Club (my Chinese is a bit rusty so the translation may not be exact), It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9% that this is it. A real Doubting Thomas this guy is. Dude, I’ll spot you the .1%, be confident, you found the wood, stake your claim.

The downside of a purported find like Noah’s Ark is the scrutiny that comes with it. The Official Ark of the Covenant Relocation Troupe will be all over this one. These supposed Evangelical Explorers are fakes and frauds. Our group has one member who actually knows an archeologist and with our skill and professionalism we have not yet located the Ark of the Covenant. You may remember this group from their protests outside the Indiana Jones movie about the Ark. These people are not to be trifled with. Then there are the actual archeologists who like to weigh in on such finds. Fresh from an appearance at the Shroud of Turin Amusement Park in southern Italy, Dr. Ford Harrison Jones has emphatically stated that this find is a joke. I’m proud to hear that the Turks and the Chinese have patched up their differences and are teaming up together, but there is no way this group found Noah’s Ark. I suspect a Hookah pipe figures into this somewhere.

I don’t believe it either. For one thing my fence is only thirteen years old and it needs work. How could a primitive wooden boat last for thousands of years? And then there’s the whole Hey, wasn’t everything destroyed in the flood question? If so, wouldn’t it stand to reason that the only wood left on the Earth would be Noah’s boat? Hello! Mr. and Mrs. Noah need a new house! Bye-bye wood.

Proponents of this find believe it is proof positive that God exists and as a result thousands of people will begin to seek faith in Jesus. Of course, these are the same people who believe there was a W.W.J.D. bumper sticker on the Ark. Proof positive that Noah’s Ark existed is not what today’s skeptics are looking for. Authenticity is what people are hoping to find. Character and virtue sprinkled with consistency is the key to impacting the world of today. Paul’s writing on the Fruit of the Spirit is all we need to discover to change the world. Live those virtues and people will pay attention. A piece of old wood isn’t enough…even if it holds the inscription S.S. Noah.

The Anglican Dude Was Right

Over the years I have been afforded the opportunity to meet and study under several Anglican ministers and theologians. In total they are a scholarly lot; haven’t met one yet that wasn’t gifted in the brainier aspects of faith; and they look so official in their collars. They refer to themselves as Catholic-Light. One Anglican I’ve never met is the big Anglican himself, the Archbishop of Canterbury. I have the same chance of meeting him as I do of having tea with the Pope. The Archbishop of the worldwide Anglican church, which includes the U.S. Episcipol church, is Rowan Williams. He has the wildest eyebrows I’ve ever seen. I’m guessing it would take a small weed-eater to trim those bushes. He’s also one of the smartest people alive today. Let me add that smart and judicious are not synonomous. He’s made a few outlandish statements during his tenure; but even Billy Graham made a mistake or two. I believe the Archbishop’s faith matches his prodigious eyebrows. He also has the distinction of leading his faith group through a deeply divisive and troubled era. It can’t be easy being the Archbishop of Canterbury these days.

Reverend Williams, also a gifted writer, penned the following words: It is not the church of God that has a mission. It’s the God of mission that has a church. Let those words sink in and you may feel a tingle in your soul. There may also be a twinge or two of guilt as we instinctively invert this principle. Honestly, do we really see the church as part of God’s vastly larger plan? Do we really see our individual faith lives as being part of a global, infinite and inclusive scheme? Hopefully so, but speaking for myself, this is much harder than it might seem. It’s very easy to view the institutional church as the main event. It’s even easier to view our lives as being both front and center. It may hurt to admit it, but it’s true more times than not.

Again, speaking only for myself and my feeble attempts to live in the right order, an evaluative inventory is key. Why do I practice faith? Why do I practice stewardship? What is the goal of my church? If an honest answer doesn’t transcend the here and now, it may not be what the God of mission expects. Loving God for reasons beyond our own salvation, safety and stability is difficult, but necessary for living in the right order. Viewing the church (my church, your church) as existing more for God’s eternal scheme than for us is easy only while in Sunday School, but again, this is absolutely necessary for being God’s church linked-in-mission and in sync with God’s plan.

Sobering words indeed. And to think, it took a prodigiously-eyebrowed Anglican chap to make me understand this. God works in mysterious ways.

Michael McCullar

Is My Difference Showing?

I drive a truck. It’s actually a hybrid of sorts; one with two full rows of seats and a shorter-than-normal bed length. People who drive “real” trucks snicker when I drive by. I can tell what they’re thinking by the amused looks on their faces: That ain’t a real truck! Well, to me it’s a real truck. There are other people who have said to me, You don’t look like a truck person. My response is normally the same: “What does a truck person look like?” I’m guessing they mean that people of Scottish descent aren’t a truck driving lot. My people ride horses, paint their faces blue, wear kilts and go to war with the imperial Brits… or play a lot of golf. I’m sticking with my truck. I’m allergic to horses.

Contrary to public opinion and practice, scripture counsels us to excel in our uniqueness. We were created as individuals, not as an amalgamation of the corporate whole. This reality provides us the ability to break away from the natural drift to sameness. The gravitational-like pull toward a corporate commonality is not at all scriptural. Was Paul one of his generation’s eager average? James? Peter? No, none of these people seemed content to settle for average, nor did they chose the easiest route through which to navigate life. They stood for something that transcends all cultural norms. History demonstrates that these stances are often lonely and from time to time end with a violent death. It happened to these guys. They lived for something and they died for something. They lived; they died; they raised the bar.

I surmise from this that it is O.K. to be unique. Uniqueness is a major step in the direction of having the inner-strength to take a stand and to not fear the trivial consequences. Please don’t get hung up on the use of trivial. If we are honest we can admit that before one is prepared to die for their convictions one must first be able to withstand being insulted or shunned. Humanity seems to crave the company of people who float along and never rock a boat of any type. Rocking boats is best left to the odd and unique types. Taking a seat is generally preferred to taking a stand.

If you love and follow Jesus you are asked to take stands, merge away from the cultural template; while, remaining firmly attached to culture. It’s a conundrum of epic proportions. We work to be different while remaining in the midst of jillions of people who haven’t yet located their ability to be different. Jesus is the answer for their malady and we are the conduit for the remedy. We could run off with our own kind and dance around celebrating our uniqueness; although, sooner or later our uniqueness would fade. We would simply become a corporate lot that dances around and celebrates excessively. We must be different within the larger scope of humanity. It isn’t easy; it’s often lonely; and people have died for their efforts. Jesus never said it would be easy. Therefore, we must entertain this question from time to time: Is my difference showing? It really is the difference between life and death.



Michael McCullar

Why Does It Always have To Be a Baptist?

Isn’t it enough that many in our society see Baptists as dimwitted dinosaurs and serial bigots? Isn’t it bad enough that people tend to believe Baptists handle snakes and play Deliverance music in church? Does it sit well with you that Baptists are thought of as people who do not play nice with the other children of the world? Ask a people group or denomination what they think of Baptists and you may not like the reply.

Is any of this true? Well, Baptists would have to admit that a few odd apples have poisoned the pie from time to time. Baptists would also have to admit that getting along with each other is a true feat; and, Baptists should consider that their longstanding superiority complex, historically exemplified by the many, is not a badge of honor or piety. All of this means that Baptists are human and foible-prone much like other religious groups who have warts and carry heavy baggage. It’s also true that on occasion a genuine nut surfaces that dominates the media attention. Sadly, this is why Baptists tend to be painted with the same broad brush used on the occasional oddball. The majority of Baptists may be compassionate and principled, but the larger society sees only the unique aberration who receives the airtime. It’s the same issue faced by people after a tornado or other natural calamity. It seems the media always chooses to interview a person that least exemplifies the populace: Yep, me and the little missus wuz sittin’ down to a mess of collard greens when a big noise cummed up and next thang I knowed the barn blowed by the winder. And you know whut? It did sound like a freight train.

It only takes a few members of any group to provide an inaccurate picture of the larger body. The Idaho missions team caught taking kids out of Haiti exemplifies this problem for Baptists. These people may have had good intentions, but good intentions never trump the laws of a country. International adoptions are long and arduous affairs that cost great deals of money. I know this because I’ve gone through it twice. It is uniquely horrible for Haitian kids right now but this dubious attempt to save thirty has made things worse for all of the children of Haiti. Today it is difficult to airlift seriously ill children out of the country and honest adoptions are at a standstill. History will show that it all began with a few woefully unprepared Baptists with flawed plans who, even with good intentions, made Haiti an even worse place for children. That’s hard to do. So I can’t help but ask, why did it have to be Baptists?

MM

What to Do with Pat Robertson

Two weeks ago an earthquake literally ripped apart the city of Port-au-Prince, Haiti leaving thousands of already-impoverished people dead, severely injured, homeless and, many children orphaned. It has been reported that this level of destruction and devastation is among the worst in world history. The United States is sending aid workers into the country, as well as military personnel, and relief organizations have people on the ground providing food, medicine and drinking water. Baptists of all stripes, including JCBC, have responded to this crisis, as have other religious groups, which is how it should be as mercy and ministry is inherent in our Biblical mandate. It should be a given for Christians to be among the first to provide support to Haiti. It’s a spiritual D.N.A. thing; an automatic response; a duh, it’s in the instruction manual act of compassion. If that’s true, which I wholeheartedly believe it is, then what’s up with Pat Robertson?

Don’t know of whom I speak? If you have been fortunate and are not acquainted with him allow me to fill in the blanks; but do not hold this against me later. In some cases ignorance is indeed bliss. Pat Robertson founded a college and a television ministry in Virginia. He pontificates daily on the 700 Club; a mish-mash of feel good stories, news and his musings on the world order. There are many people who see him as a step beyond self-delusional and as a person who actually believes he represents Christianity in America. I prefer to think of him as a nutcase. O.K., I just sinned and I’ll admit it. I called a famous preacher and television host a nutcase. Forgive me in lots of twelve Lord ‘cause I’m not finished sinning yet. On his television program he stated that the earthquake in Haiti occurred because Haitians made a pact with the devil in order to be freed from French control. He actually said this and followed with the statement, “true story.” France last held colonial control of Haiti in the early 1800’s. In order to continue control in the late 18th century Napoleon sent in Rochambeau to eliminate opposition forces. He estimated that he would have to kill 30,000 natives to reach his objective and to that end he hung, burned alive and drowned native men and women. On one day in 1802 he had 500 prominent men killed; an act that sealed the fate of France on the island. Opposition forces grew and over a short period of time the French were forced to flee. So tell me again who the bad guys are?

If you do the math, which I’m assuming Mr. Robertson is never allowed to do for the 700 Club, it would suggest that Haiti is paying today for a spurious sin committed over two hundred years ago. Toss out the obvious bad theology in play here and do the math; this earthquake was two hundred years late! Since one has to assume that God sent the earthquake (the bad theology part), then God was quite late on this one. Oh yeah, a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like a day…Silly me. God can take His own sweet time if God wants to “by-dingy.” That last sentence is true but the rest is hooey. God does not send earthquakes; nature does. Port-au-Prince is on a large fault line. Bad events occur within the natural order every day. Sin in the form of bad human choices can lead to tragedy. What happened in Haiti was a combination of corrupt leadership and natural disaster. It was a natural disaster, not a supernatural disaster. God loves the Haitians even if self-inflated bozo’s like Pat Robertson do not. Dang, I’ve sinned again. I just insulted Bozo.

Michael McCullar